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SPIDER Poem Written By Eli Smith Mar 2015

SPIDER Poem Written By Eli Smith Mar 2015

Spider Poem

SPIDER Poem Written By Eli Smith Mar 2015

SPIDER Poem Written By Eli Smith Mar 2015

SPIDER Poem

She tells me that I am a failed experiment,
One part tragedy and two parts disappointment.
She tells me that I need to DIE.
She’s more than just a voice inside of my head
She is a completely different person.
Renting half of my brain
How can the one thing that’s mine feel like a shared space.
I am split in half
I loose control, loose footing in a life I falsely call my own
I lose time, seconds, minutes, hours, days
I cannot function with her
But I cannot function without her
I “wake up” and my legs are bleeding,
The blade in my hands.
I wonder how long it will be before she kills me.
I cannot stop her.
My friends call her Spider
She is a black widow, eating her mate after he has served his purpose.
She is manipulative.
Capable of killing in just one bite.
I am passive, she is aggressive.
She is destructive, angry, jealous, violent,
Unstable – A natural disaster, I am the eye of the storm.
I am the end of chaos.
However,
I am shy, and weak, but innocent, feeling destroyed by crimes I did not commit.
We are yin and yang, 2 parts of a whole
Both wanting different things…
Wanting this body as our own
Doing everything we can to make the other submit.
Mirrors are my worst nightmare,
The girl I see is no longer me.
Coated in black makeup,
Dressed like I’m in a punk band.
I do not remember getting dressed this morning,
I am not sure how I got to school.
When did I do this assignment?
Wait, that was today?
Where am I?
What is my name?
Why are you screaming?
I can’t take this.
DO NOT SCREAM AT ME WHEN I DON’T DO WHAT YOU ASK
I have no recollection of you asking
Why are you mad at me?
We fought?
When?
What did I say?
No…I’m not making this up.
I am so, so sorry…It’s just been a “bad day”
If only I could tell you what’s truly wrong and not sound insane.
It’s more than just forgetting
It is a lapse in the conscious – a constant tug of war that never seems to end.
I have spent most of my life faking being functional.
I cannot sleep, she and I do battle in hopes that one of us will reign victorious.
How do you kill something that is inside of you?
Help me
You cannot see the destruction of my mind
I am standing in the middle of the wreckage and you claim that I am “making this up”
It is impossible to survive this way.
She cuts this body leaving her mark so that I can never forget that I am not alone.
It’s wrong to feel this empty, hollow, beating myself up just to know I’m alive
She tells me it’s time to go – But quitting would release the monster forever
She is not safe
I am far too weak to contain her.
I am losing myself to her again…
Goodb-….*Hello

My girl friend turned into spider poem

 

A funny youtube video has been shared below:

 

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Masculin Active Precio

    July 16, 2018 at 4:09 am

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